Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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