Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
