spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
