i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
