did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
