I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
