We won't sleep together?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
