ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You're my little dorito
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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