can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
