I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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