do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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