belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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