real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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