Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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