if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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