He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
