How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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