come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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