wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
