Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
