I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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