Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
