we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
worst night to have a conscience
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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