Michael Bay diarrhea
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
