I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
