dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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