if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
