I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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