OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i dont even know how to be here
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
