Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
