We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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