I feel great
I just peed on a car
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
