If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
