wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
