Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
