I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
