Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
