Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
