I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize
