you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
