the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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