i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
