Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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