So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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