We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
