I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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