you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
