I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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