We won't sleep together?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
