I could have mohawked her pubes.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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