LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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