I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
